The oxymoron of quitting
“Winners don’t quit and quitters don’t win!”
I imagine that line still gets screamed by some football coach as he crushes his players into the 8th hour of Sunday-night practice. The general public got wind of this same idea isn’t ready to accept otherwise. Quitting is for losers.
Don’t drop out of school, don’t quit your job, don’t leave your partner… the list goes on. You almost never here someone suggest “Why don’t you just throw in the towel then?” when the complaining becomes incessant. No. To suggest that is to suggest you’ve lost.
But hold on, let’s reflect on this obscene social pressure NOT to quit.
First off, I’d like to know what an acceptable time-span of “doing” is before quitting it isn’t going to ruin me. Then I’d like to know, what does “Finish what I started” even mean? Where are these finish lines and who is making these arbitrary decisions for how I should live my life? Why shouldn’t I make decisions based on what brings me fulfillment instead of blindly following the “winners don’t quit” idea?
Why do we, as a society, keep spending our sacred time doing shit that either makes us royally miserable or slowly suffocates our passion?
This habit of blindly committing to miserable obligations can manifest in ugly ways, both physically and emotionally. Sleepless nights, anxiety, pathetic levels of joy in what should be a wonderful – albeit challenging – life. There’s even a growing body of research that shows a scary relationship between stress and autoimmune diseases.
Wake up folks, this affects more of us than we dare admit.
When I heard Steve Dubner’s Freakanomics episode, “The upside of quitting,” I swear I could hear angels singing in the background. Finally, logic to fight the anti-quitting hysteria. As usual, Dubner and his experts pulled together a plethora of relevant research to explain why a thoughtless aversion to quitting is totally bonkers.
Here’s my take-away from Dubner’s episode: if your plan – whatever it is (!)- has taken a hard left down Negative Lane, it’s time to critically assess the situation. Simply consider: what are the pros and cons of continuing versus quitting? Read up again on the fallacy of sunk cost. Do you gain more by staying or leaving? Dubner reveals the currently-counter-intuitive fact that quitting can, in many cases, actually bring you much more than staying!
Whether it’s a quarterly goal, a major career move, or simply a burned cuppa coffee – I’m reminding you now, you don’t need to finish it if the benefits don’t outweigh the costs. Take a look in the mirror, have some courage, and be honest with yourself when assessing what brings you joy in life and work. If this is a big scary leap, then don’t rush the decision. Talk it out with trusted friends, assess your options with a coach, review your life vision and figure out which track should you be on to get there…
I don’t want the echo of some archetypal football coach being the only reason you are stuck in a dead-end situation. Equally important, don’t let the unfounded fear of having to see a plan through to eternity stop you from trying something new.
Why start a blog with quitting?
This topic is the first of my collection because it partly explains why I left a perfectly good, secure job to found Collective Intent. I believe in taking risks to follow my dreams. I have a clear vision for my ideal life, including the impact I want to have with my career. This move is part of that vision. The joy in simply trying this new venture intrinsically motivates me far more than a secure, good-but-not-dream, -job.
Let me rephrase for the analytic skeptics: I am familiar with the research revealing astounding success rates for people who have a strong vision, make a plan, and see it through. (Get in touch about coaching or group workshops to get on this wagon.)
I also know that if I have a change of heart down the road, that there’s nothing wrong with quitting to start the next project.
… Watch this space…
Photo by Gordon Plant